exhausted

i'm tired of drama,
something i've never asked for,
i'm tired of looking at the mirror,
and searching for the girl beneath the reflection,
only to find out that she wasn't there,
i'm tired of trying to fit in,
when all the while i always knew,
this is not where i belong,
this isn't me,
wasn't even what i fight for,
i'm tired of figuring out,
who i am,
who i was,
what i want,
i hate everything,
i hate being sick,
being sick of looking up at me,
to gamble the life between,
inside me and outside,
i hate to not know,
what best and what not,
being unable to be me,
being hiding,
i'm scared of trying,
to be open up,
to be unfold,
yet somehow that's what i've been dreaming of,
i hate to not know,
what tale to tell,
what lies will be the perfect cover up,
i hate feeling stupid,
i hate to be ripped,
i'm tired of being bitch,
only to realized that i am,
i'm tired of being sorry,
for not feeling so,
there's a point in my life,
where i just hate everything,
and most of all,
i hate for not being done with hating.